Well it's that time of year again, yes my dear friends the anniversary of Mater's death. I never could imagine all those years ago just how deep and affecting the pain of loss can be, from that fateful, dark day when Mater's head was forced into the deathly vat of boiling hot lard in our back kitchen in Rosemund Road back in Barrow in Furness to now. Here I am still alone and still waiting for the day when I shall be reunited with dear Mater in heaven and we shall glide hand in hand, dancing the pasa doble on a fluffy cloud dancefloor, Mater resplendent with her silvery, lard encrusted hair in a shimmering ball gown and me wearing the very suit that I wore for my famous 1963 World championship win at the majestic Blackpool Tower ballroom!!!
Even to this day the true details of Mater's mysterious death have never been fully explained, yet only an hour after Mater was found dead that heavy footed fop Austin Lockett was openley heard drunkenly "bragging" in the "Shackled Beggar" public house in down town Barrow that he had "finally got even with old Sheepsy!!"
What a waste, we could and should have settled our differences on the dance floor like proper gentlemen, there was no need to harm innocent old Mater, she was just an innocent pawn in Austin's vicious game of revenge - but from that day on I have vowed to Mater's memory that I will not rest till he is brought to justice, the fookin' cad.....!!!
Today will be a quiet reflective day for me, around 10.00 am my agent and confidante' Maurice Shoteley will drive me to tend to Maters' grave and lay some fresh tulips on her lavish, austintatious tombstone before we return home for a luncheon of Corbetts finest pork brisket and sage sausages with a creamy pile of mash and some lighty steamed cabbage, perhaps with a side serving of pan fried pooding.....Mmmmm lovely but I digress. After lunch I will retire to Mater's "shrine" upstairs and lie down on her plastic covered bed and sob wildly for an hour or two before putting on one of Mater's beautiful glittery ball gown's, this just makes me feel closer to Mater - there is nothing morbid or peculiar about this, it merely enables me to feel the "spirit" of my beloved, dearest Mater.....
After parading around the living room in one of Maters' ballgowns, a pair of her size 10 silver dancing shoes and perhaps one of her decorative wigs for an hour or so I will as always return Mater's dress carefully to her wardrobe before phoning my only surviving brother Minton at his retirement home in Worthing. Dear old Minty is not the man he was, he is now sadly ravaged by severe dementia but he is the only link I have to Mater now and so I must persist with our empty phonecalls and meaningless cards at Xmas, he really hasn't got a clue who I am now - the matron at his care home insists it is a sympton of his illness but I believe it is just a jealous reaction to my success, none of my family apart from dear Mater have apprreciated my wealth, fame and entertainment skills....bah!
The day will finish as it always does by a light supper of maybe a Corbetts special pork pie with a slither of picalilli or perhaps a fish supper at Mater's favourite fish and chip shop in Pankhurst street, Mater would usually order chips, gravy and a fat sausage while I would usually decide on a large portion of chips, mushy peas and some "fish flavoured thumpers!!!" delicious!
God bless you Mater....................
Even to this day the true details of Mater's mysterious death have never been fully explained, yet only an hour after Mater was found dead that heavy footed fop Austin Lockett was openley heard drunkenly "bragging" in the "Shackled Beggar" public house in down town Barrow that he had "finally got even with old Sheepsy!!"
What a waste, we could and should have settled our differences on the dance floor like proper gentlemen, there was no need to harm innocent old Mater, she was just an innocent pawn in Austin's vicious game of revenge - but from that day on I have vowed to Mater's memory that I will not rest till he is brought to justice, the fookin' cad.....!!!
Today will be a quiet reflective day for me, around 10.00 am my agent and confidante' Maurice Shoteley will drive me to tend to Maters' grave and lay some fresh tulips on her lavish, austintatious tombstone before we return home for a luncheon of Corbetts finest pork brisket and sage sausages with a creamy pile of mash and some lighty steamed cabbage, perhaps with a side serving of pan fried pooding.....Mmmmm lovely but I digress. After lunch I will retire to Mater's "shrine" upstairs and lie down on her plastic covered bed and sob wildly for an hour or two before putting on one of Mater's beautiful glittery ball gown's, this just makes me feel closer to Mater - there is nothing morbid or peculiar about this, it merely enables me to feel the "spirit" of my beloved, dearest Mater.....
After parading around the living room in one of Maters' ballgowns, a pair of her size 10 silver dancing shoes and perhaps one of her decorative wigs for an hour or so I will as always return Mater's dress carefully to her wardrobe before phoning my only surviving brother Minton at his retirement home in Worthing. Dear old Minty is not the man he was, he is now sadly ravaged by severe dementia but he is the only link I have to Mater now and so I must persist with our empty phonecalls and meaningless cards at Xmas, he really hasn't got a clue who I am now - the matron at his care home insists it is a sympton of his illness but I believe it is just a jealous reaction to my success, none of my family apart from dear Mater have apprreciated my wealth, fame and entertainment skills....bah!
The day will finish as it always does by a light supper of maybe a Corbetts special pork pie with a slither of picalilli or perhaps a fish supper at Mater's favourite fish and chip shop in Pankhurst street, Mater would usually order chips, gravy and a fat sausage while I would usually decide on a large portion of chips, mushy peas and some "fish flavoured thumpers!!!" delicious!
God bless you Mater....................
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