Yes folks my rallying, clarion call above says it all really - in a few weeks time we go head to head with the BBC in a ballroom dance based war of hellish almost apocalyptic proportions!! a tad dramtatic maybe but I believe that "Leisure" Tv's "Cut some Rug" has the potential and sheer star quality to slaughter the Beebs tawdry "Strictly come dancing" in the ratings war.....
With a list of high profile celebs lined up such as Blue Peter's Peter Purvess, Tv paranormal crusader Denton Pentangle, former ace gymnast Suzanne Dando, Wacky funster Timmy Mallet and recovering alcholic standup comic Burton Curle I believe the Great British public will switch on in their millions to be captivated by some truly great ballroom dance based entertainment.
It all kicks in 2 weeks time on Saturday nights at 7.30pm, so make sure you tune in folks - why not settle down on your favourite armchair perhaps with a nice rustic scotch egg or two and a large glass of port or maybe a pickled pigs trotter and a few glasses of malty brown ale will suit you better as you ease into the wondrous world of "Cut Some Rug!!!!!!!!!"
All the production team at "Leisure Tv" and everyone connected with the show in general are very excited about the barnstorming upcoming debut live show and as a huge treat and massive statement of intent we have managed to line up a truly great scoop for the first show.....yes my loyal companion, much beloved old dancing partner Mavis Fekkit and I will be opening the show with a sublime reconstruction of our infamous 1962 World championship winning "Cha cha cha" routine that delighted and stunned critics, judges and ballroom fans alike back in the day! Mavis has wisely seen sense regarding the ridicilous, barbaric and frankfully unsavoury legal injunction she had taken out against me 3 or 4 years back and has decided to look to the future with me her old dancing partner, former close friend and sometime lover back by her side....Eeeh I can hardly wait to once again after all these years "Cut Some fookin' Rug" with dear old Mavis! you really are a credit to Ballroom dancing Mavis and a fookin' right old proud beauty at that!
Mavis's husband the Barbados based multi millionaire tv impressario and businessman Lucifer Entwhistle has kindly agreed to financially back the show on condition that his dear wife Mavis steps into the breach to co-present the show in place of the lovingly bonkers Su Pollard. Sorry Su love but as you know thats' show business and as the game old trooper she is I'm sure she won't hold a grudge and will continue to be the consumate professional in her new drastically reduced role as back stage reporter and gossip monger amongst our Z list celebs!!!
I've been spending most of my spare time down in London recently as rehearsals have been feverishly taking place but "Leisure Tv" have kindly put me up in a sumptious listed country cottage just 40 minutes drive from the capital, as homeley as it is frankly I'm living out of my £1000 bespoke crocodile skin suitcase for now but fear not folks I have been making a regular weekly sabatical up to Barrow in Furness to check on Maters' grave (and Tobys too!!) and also to stock up on some fine pork based food items for my country larder such as some of the late much missed Selwyn Corbetts prime pork chops, his finest wild boar and sage sausages and a whole array of convenience snacks like his premium Mudchute farm pork pies, a few porky herby nudgers, the odd trotter or twelve and a few pigs heads thrown in for some severe stewing on the aga of my delightful country cottage!!
Eeeh isn't life grand!!?!?!?!?
See you soon people, and remember lets "Cut some rug!!!"
Lester
x
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