Yes folks - as you know ITV's jungle D-list celeb fest "I'm a celebrity..." is currently being rammed down our throats like a great, gorged sausage roll smothered in pork fat!!!! erm yes things have certainly took a turn for the worst in the jungle with dubiously politically opinionated tv fop Silksy already out of the camp and the sexy footballing wag Carly on her way it's time that the shows producers finally saw the light and airlifted ol' Sheepsy in there! Yes folks you may recall last year I was on the final shortlist of celebs to appear but had to withdraw at the eleventh hour due to Panto commitments but this year as a surprise late arrival I really think I could pull the show out of it's current slump.
With my firebrand wit, humorous anecdotes and ballroom dancing prowess I really think I'd be a valuable addition to the Australian jungle....I do know quite a few of the guys in there already which would help too, the zany Timmy Mallet took part in the early rounds of "Cut some Rug" but had to leave due to an ankle injury (not seen much evidence of any limb ailment in the jungle though Timmy you cushioned-malleted fooker!!) I also have some previous with the lovely Esther Rantzen as our paths often met at BBC televsion centre during the 70's and early 80's when she was presenting "Thats Life" and I was regularly guesting on "Come Dancing" - eeh what glorious days!!
I'd also call David Van Day a close friend too as I did some choerography work on a few early Dollar videos and also on one of their UK tours, I'll tell you something else too David doesn't half do a mean burger from his mobile takeaway van down in Brighton!!!
But seriously folks I really think I'd flourish in the outback, in my long distinguished career I've faced many awful, vile and downright hideous experiences so a few cockroaches, snakes and spiders would be like water off a ducks back to ol' twinkle toes. Why after you've shared a musty, damp chalet at Pontins with Burton Curle you can face anything!!! sorry Burty old lad but by the fook I think you'll agree with me that you reallty did have some unpleasantly foul personal hygiene habits back then son didn't you, ooh fook me not half!!!!
Who knows what will happen in the future but I'll be waiting by my phone for the call to come!!
In the meantime I'm working on my lastest project of which I'll reveal more just before Xmas but believe me folks it's a winner!!
Till next time take things easy and as Mater' used to say "Embrace the dance and all it's delights!!"
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